Our tiny bipeds

by Amandeep Jutla

You will know it when you see it. The star is at the system’s edge. Follow the charts. Stay vigilant. Be aware that the target world is smaller than most – less than one percent the size of our own. As such, for reasons of scale, the typical invasion patterns will be ineffective. The paradigms you know must be flushed from your mind.

Would that I could offer you new ones to replace them, but we have yet to finalize a new pattern. You must learn new methods, but you must discover them on your own.

(You may doubt your ability to do this. Do not. I would remind you that you were chosen because of your psychometrics. Our profile is more detailed than you can imagine. I have seen you from the inside of you. I have spent hours examining each parameter. However well you believe you understand yourself, I understand you better. I have confidence that you will find a solution.)

Know that the target world may attempt to resist our efforts to subdue it. It is a violent and volcanic place. It is not home to life and never will be, until or unless we intervene.

One nascent plan we refer to as the biped scheme. It will involve a great deal of engineering prowess on your part. You will need to flood the world with water. You will need to foment what will in retrospect appear to have been an evolutionary process that will culminate in an order of these creatures.

The figure attached to this brief is an artist’s depiction of what one might look like. They are generally hairless. They stand upright. One of them is less than a millionth the size of one of us.

We – you – will make them grow. I am told this process could take up to three billion years. They must not be aware of your presence, even as they live only because you permit them to.

We have considered ways that you might disguise yourself. One possible approach could involve folding yourself into piles of rock. If you do this carefully, you will be indistinguishable from an actual tectonic artifact. To the undiscerning observer, you would seem to be a range of mountains.

Another approach might be to wrap yourself into a spheroid shape. To the undiscerning observer, you would seem to be a moon.

Of course, if you undergo schism by the time of your arrival, there will be two of you. You may not have to choose. The built-in redundancy will ensure our success. We will cover the target world, like so many before it, in automatons of our own design. Yes, we may need to compromise – the tiny bipeds will hardly be ideal – but they will be our tiny bipeds. This will make all the difference.